Oh, Clementine

 There once was a young lady called Clementine,

who was desperately seeking a valentine.

She put on a ski-mask, and grabbed a sack,

and hid in a bush, ready for attack.

Soon a young man came whistling by,

a spring in his step, all bouncy and spry.

But his joy was soon to come to an end.

His heart, drained of happiness would never mend,

for out of the bushes with a loud ululation,

sprang Clementine, with much determination.

She stuffed the young man into her sack,

and carried him home, strapped to her back.

She had finally found that Valentine to claim as hers,

and she locked him up for many years.

She would only let him out on that one special day,

Oh St Valentine, what would you say?