Tuesday, 10 December 2013
Thursday, 29 August 2013
Freedom
A
whisper of doubt follows you around, a fleeting glance through the corner of
your eye.
A
faltering step forward, a hasty look back, tripping over your own feet.
Never
allowing the sands of time to take it in, to breathe, to let go.
Unsure
laughter dies on your lips before reaching your eyes. Hesitance falters
thought, hinders movement, anchors freewill. It weighs you down.
“An iron ball around your ankles- over the waterfall”
Darkness closing in, darkness you become,
Choking, suppressing until you burst, screaming out a vicious cry,
a
fury that mellows as eyes shut tight and you finally allow yourself the time,
the
time to take it in, to breathe, to let go,
In
the calm of the storm, eyes flutter open, a true smile is born, dawning upon
startled eyes,
A
slow step forward and a giggle bursts forth with surprised delight, each step a
realization and before you know it, you’re running, arms thrown up, rejoicing,
embracing, reaching out, throwing light upon shadows,
Laughter dances in your eyes and moves within
you, feet that hardly touch the ground, no longer just a run, but a dance,
A
dance in your footsteps, a dance in your thoughts, a dance in your movement, a
dance in your freewill You were made to be this way, like a bird that soars
above it all,
You
can run, you can skip, you can fly
Nothing
can hold you down,
“You feel free.You
feel freedom.”
By Wilhelmine Wachter
Wednesday, 17 July 2013
Stolen Hope 3
Diane stood
shivering at the door of an old lodge and checked her wrist watch nervously. It
was slowly heading towards 6pm and she needed to get back home before it got
too late. She rubbed her arms furiously against the cold and looked worriedly
at the darkening sky. Her sense of self-preservation had increased since she
was now nurturing a little life inside her. She knocked on the door again, this
time more urgently, but still, no one came. She stepped back and frowned, wondering
if she was at the right place. Before she could question her whereabouts any
further, the door swung open and before her stood Isabel. Diane reeled in shock
as her gaze slowly took in her sister’s form. It was as if she was looking into
a mirror. Growing up, people had always asked what it was like to have a twin. Was
it like having a mirror image? Diane had never really thought about it,
thinking that the obvious answer was yes. And so that was what she would reply.
But as she looked at her sister now, she realized that having a twin wasn’t supposed
to be like having a mirror image. There was always some form of individuality. Independence.
And right now she didn’t like what she was seeing. Isabel, from tip to tail,
was dressed exactly like Diane. Not only that, but she was also pregnant. And from
the looks of it, they were in the same semester too. Of course they had often
worn the same outfits, but that was a thing of childhood. And when Isabel had
returned after two years of disappearing, she had gotten the same outfits as Diane,
but she had never worn them. Diane had passed it off as Isabel's psychological
need to hold onto something happy from her childhood. And being abused, wearing
matching outfits with your twin sister was her only happy memory. Or so Diane had
thought.
“Isabel…” she
managed to choke out. Isabel smiled serenely at her sister and opened the door
wider to indicate invitation inside. Once inside, Isabel led Diane into a drab
looking lounge and gestured towards an old couch. Diane sank into it, still
dazed by how much Isabel not only resembled her physically, but also in her
mannerisms.
“Hello Diane.”
Isabel murmured, unsurprisingly in a tone of voice much similar to Diane's. Then
she laughed delicately when she saw Diane’s eyes nearly pop out in surprise.
“You can talk!?”
Diane exclaimed. She couldn’t remember the last time she had ever heard Isabel talk.
“I’ve always been
able to talk.” Isabel murmured. She was still standing as if she wanted to
impose on Diane just how much they looked alike. Diane swallowed nervously,
wishing now that she had chosen to ignore Isabel's text message summoning her
hither where no one knew she was, or in the very least that Matthew was here
with her. But truth was she had been worried about Isabel. After Diane had
announced her engagement five months ago, Isabel had disappeared yet again. No
one had noticed for a while, and that had made Diane feel guilty and was part
of the reason why she was here now. She hadn’t heard from Isabel for so long,
that when she got the text she had hurried over without even thinking of
telling anyone. And now, her phone had no service. Typical. There was a long
silence in which Isabel just looked placidly at Diane with an unfaltering smile
on her face. Diane found it both irritating and worrisome, and she raked her
brains to find something to break the silence.
“So… you’ve been
living here the whole time?”
“Yes.” Isabel
replied still smiling.
Diane looked at Isabel's
protruding belly, “All by yourself?”
“Yes.” Isabel intoned
again.
Frustrated with Isabel
just standing over her giving monosyllabic answers Diane huffed “Well aren’t you
gonna sit down!?”
“No.”
“I liked her
better when she didn’t speak at all” Diane thought to herself, her patience
wearing thin. “Why are you dressed like me? In fact, why do you look exactly
like me?”
This time Isabel didn’t
reply, choosing instead to continue with her irksome smile.
With her hormones
in the extreme, Isabel's behaviour was enough to get Diane to her feet. But before
she could open her mouth, Isabel pushed her back onto the couch.
“Sit down.” She said
coolly.
Diane stared up
at Isabel in shock and protectively wrapped her arms around her belly. “Wh-why
did you call me here Isabel”
Isabel took a
step closer and said “Because it’s time for me to take what’s mine.”
Diane shook her
head in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Your life Diane.”
Isabel waited for
the severity of her words to sink in before she started laughing. Diane's hands
gripped the sofa until her knuckles turned white. The color had drained from
her face, and her other hand clutched her tummy as she felt fear cause a mild
contraction in her womb. She looked up at Isabel and received a devilish smile
from her twin sister. She finally understood why Isabel looked like her. She
intended to take her place. And she could very well pull it off. She looked like
her, she talked like her, and she acted like her. She had even gotten herself
pregnant just like her. Diane felt bile rise up in her throat. Dear Lord, how
long had Isabel been planning this? Almost
as if she had heard Diane’s thoughts, Isabel began pacing the room slowly.
“You’ve always
had everything Diane. Everything I’ve always wanted. You were always the
prettier one, even though we were twins” Isabel spat out bitterly, “That
monster chose me instead of you, and why? We both killed our mother. But no. He.
Chose. Me.” She gave a maniacal laugh. “That was the only time I was ever
chosen for anything. She’s strange. Why doesn’t she smile? What the fuck do I have
to smile about?” she whipped around so viciously to face Diane that Diane reeled
back in alarm. “Please Diane; enlighten me, what the fuck do I have to smile
about?” Isabel gripped Diane’s arm so tightly that Diane yelped out in pain.
“Isabel... I” Diane
started, but Isabel didn’t give her a chance to finish.
“Exactly. I have
nothing.’ She carried on vehemently. “But not anymore.”
Her features
softened suddenly and for a second, Diane saw a glimmer of the old Isabel she
had known as a child as they played hide and seek in the sunshine and forgot
about the horror of the abuse. Isabel closed her eyes and gently rubbed her
stomach with a smile.
“Not anymore” she
whispered. “Because now I have Matthew’s child growing inside of me.”
Diane felt a wave
of nausea grip her. She shook her head in denial. It couldn’t be true, Matthew would
never do that to her. He would never willingly sleep with her twin sister…
unless he had thought it was her. Diane’s head whipped up to look at Isabel.
“You deceived Matthew into thinking it was me
he was sleeping with?”
Isabel didn’t answer.
The proud smirk on her face was answer enough. Diane stood to her feet so abruptly
this time that it was Isabel's turn to look shocked.
“You vile, treacherous
BITCH!” she screamed grabbing Isabel by the arms and giving her a bone-jarring shake
with a strength she didn’t know she possessed. But it was short-lived, for all
of a sudden, Isabel let out a blood-chilling screech and slapped Diane hard across
the face. Diane felt fury rise within her, and she slapped Isabel with a livid
back-hand. Isabel fell onto the floor, taking Diane with her. They tumbled on
the dusty grit, with hair pulling and yelps of pain. Somehow, Diane managed to
get on top of Isabel and managed to pin her hands down. She looked down at Isabel's
face morphed into an ugly grimace as she struggled to get free of Diane’s grip.
When had Izzie become this monster, Diane wondered sadly, but deep down she
knew the answer. Isabel had never been the same after the first blow she had
received as a child. She was a result of the horrible things she had suffered
through. But instead of rising above, she had chosen to give in. She was her
father’s child.
Without any
warning, Isabel kneed Diane hard in the stomach. Diane cried out, weakening her
hold on Isabel, and Isabel took the opportunity to strike a hard blow to the
side of Diane’s head. Her vision out of focus, and a sharp pain emanating from
her tummy, Diane rolled onto the ground and drew herself into a ball. She was
fading fast but with the little strength she had left she felt an instinctive
need to protect her unborn child. Pain gripped her as she felt a wave of
contractions rip through her womb from the kick she had received from Isabel. Her
arms went around her stomach protectively and she started praying fiercely
while tears ran down her cheeks.
“Please Lord not
my baby, not my baby”
Through her haze
of tears, Diane saw Isabel get up slowly and walk over to the mantle where she
took something. When she came back to stand over her, Diane saw that it was an
injection.
“Please Izzie”
she implored in an aching whisper, “Please don’t do this…”
“It’s too late Diane.”
Isabel murmured as she crouched down next to Diane and slowly injected the
debilitating drug into her sister’s arm. “You have what I want, and so I have
to keep you as far away from the life you had, so that I can take over and live
in peace.” Diane tried to make sense of Isabel's words but her brain was
getting fuzzy and her vision was fizzling out. Isabel's last words echoed and
reverberated in her mind as everything went black.
“This is your new
home now.”
The
End
By Wilhelmine
Wachter
Monday, 24 June 2013
Stolen Hope 2
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he
does not become a monster himself. And when you look long into the abyss, the abyss
also looks into you.”
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Diane stood awkwardly among the small gathering of adults as the priest
droned on with his speech. She shifted uncomfortably under the cumbersome black
out-fit, wanting more than anything to throw it all off and go down to the lake
like all the other children. But she couldn’t. Not yet anyway. Maybe after her
father’s funeral. Despite her youth, death did not confuse her. She knew death
was a grim reality just as sure as she knew her father was going to hell. And
it didn’t bother her one bit. Her gaze drifted over the faces of the few adults
who had turned up. They knew just as well as she did the crimes her father had
committed. Yet they had chosen to ignore it. Had looked politely indifferent,
just as they did now.
Bored, her gaze wandered off into the distance as her mind drifted to
thoughts of swimming. She gave a sudden start when her gaze met that of a
familiar stranger standing between the trees. Diane frowned as the small figure
began walking towards the mourners. It wasn’t long before whispers rippled
through the adults. Many of them gasped and pointed fingers, but it was Diane
who ran forward as it suddenly dawned on her who the stranger was.
“Isabel.” She whispered.
*****
Isabel’s return was the talk of the town. The nine year old girl who had
hit her abusive father over the head with a pan before disappearing for two
years was back. Not that anyone had really tried looking for her. The police
had bigger cases to solve, and her father thought she had most probably curled
up into a little ball and died somewhere. Good riddance. Only Diane had longed
for her sister’s safety. She knew that wherever Isabel was, she was safer than
she would be under the same roof as her father. And now their father was dead,
it was finally safe for Isabel to come back home. But she was different now. Diane
looked at her sister and still felt the way she had when she had seen Isabel walking
towards her at the funeral. Like she was looking at a familiar stranger. Isabel
could no longer talk. Or maybe she chose not to. Not a single word, nor a hum
of a tune. Just silence. Her eyes were the worst. Shuttered and closed,
betraying not a single emotion. Dead.
Despite this, Isabel was ever watchful. Especially of Diane. It was a
fascination that had begun long back when Isabel had questioned “Why me?”
Why wasn’t it Diane who had been abused. They were identical twins after
all, born at basically the same time. There were complications during the
entire delivery. So why had their father blamed Isabel for their mothers death.
And morbidly this fascination grew, especially when Isabel had gone into
hiding. Lurking in the shadows and always always always watching Diane. What was
so special about her. With time, fascination grew into a vile jealousy. Not only
was Isabel watching now. She was evolving.
With each of the years that passed, Diane was under constant scrutiny
from her sister. The way she spoke, the way she laughed, the way she raised an
eye brow or frowned when she was in deep concentration. Isabel ingrained all
this into memory. She made sure she had the same hairstyle as Diane. The same
outfits. Diane thought nothing of it as they grew up. She allowed Isabel whatever
comfort she wanted. The only way you could tell them apart now was that Isabel
was the silent one. And it wasn’t long before Isabel began experimenting on
unsuspecting victims. Isabel would mimic Diane. She would become Diane. And no one knew the difference, for it was in these
moments that Isabel would speak. She did it to their great aunt who had taken
them in, she did it to the teachers at school. She even did it to Diane’s
friends. And not one of them suspected a thing. Not even Diane herself. Isabel became
so obsessed with memorizing Diane that she often confused her name with Diane’s.
Whenever someone called Diane, Isabel would find that she would look up and
almost answer.
The obsession grew long into their teen
years and both girls found they fell for the same boy. But of course Isabel didn’t
say anything. A stigma had followed her around ever since she had returned
home. The abused girl. The strange one. The lesser twin. Who would want her. Certainly
not a guy like Matthew. With his gorgeous brown eyes, and his sexy messy hair. Of
course he would want Diane. And so she watched them with an ache in her heart. How
he looked at her with such a soft look in his eyes. How he tucked stray strands
of her hair behind her ears. And Isabel wanted that so badly to be her he
looked at so lovingly. To have his fingers trace the outline of her jaw. To love
her. And that ache grew so despairingly that soon she was victimizing Matthew
as well. She would steal moments with him, pretending to be Diane. Her culmination
was going to the extent of sleeping with him and conceiving the same day as Diane.
And still no one suspected a thing. For Isabel was freakishly careful.
*****
Isabel sat quietly at the dinner table as
usual. Though they were now living in their own homes, every Sunday they would
come back to their great aunts house for family dinner. For some reason Diane was
late, and Isabel knew she was had been with Matthew the whole day. She felt a
pang of jealousy at this thought. She knew she was treading dangerous waters
now that she was pregnant at the same time as Diane, but she still had a few
more weeks to figure out what to do before the pregnancy started showing. The front
door suddenly banged open and in came a beaming Diane, all out of breath. She could
hardly contain herself.
“I have some really great news!” she looked
around the dinner table at her aunt and cousins and finally at her sister. Then
she held up her left hand to show a sparkling engagement ring.
“Matthew proposed!”
There was a clamor at the table as everyone
stood to gush around Diane. Isabel on the other hand, felt something snap
inside her. She was seething with anger but somehow she managed to smile at Diane
and hug her. And all the while that Diane described the proposal in great nauseous
detail, Isabel was already planning her next move.
To be continued…
By Wilhelmine Wachter
Monday, 6 May 2013
Thursday, 25 April 2013
Stolen Hope
Two girls sat
crouched in the darkest corner of the closet, arms wrapped around each other
tight. Not a breath escaped their lips as they listened, ears tuned, eyes wide,
to the muffled sounds coming from outside the door. Something was thrown
violently across the room and it landed with a loud crash.
“Where are you,
you little bitch?”
One of the little
girls whimpered and seemed to shrink further into the corner. The other girl
wrapped her arms more fiercely around her sister and fought back the tears that
threatened to engulf her. “He won’t find us.” She whispered, but her voice gave
away the doubt she felt and she wished she hadn’t spoken at all.
They jumped in
unison when a bottle shattered. Fear made the sound seem so close and the smell
of liquor seeped through the door. A cold chuckle of laughter seemed to echo
and reverberate through the walls and the girls shivered in fright. A slow set
of footsteps made its way slowly and calculatedly towards the closet and as
inebriated as he was, his step never faltered. The tears that had been held
back so bravely finally spilled over. The light filtering in through the crack
at the bottom of the door was suddenly shut out by the shadow of the monster standing
outside the door. Eyes squeezed shut as the inevitable took place and the door
was clawed off its hinges. Dim light fell upon the girls and a puddle of urine
pooled between their legs. The braver of the two looked defiantly up at the
lurching figure of her father and hid her sister behind her. Unperturbed, the man
looked down at his daughters with glazed eyes and a triumphant smile. Although
they were identical twins, he could easily tell them apart. Anyone could. Diane
Hope Mills was quite obviously the older of the two, just from her protective
stance. She was a plump nine year old who had grown up too quickly. Her green
eyes glittered with spirit and her blond hair shone with them. She was alive.
Isabel Faith Mills was death in the eyes of a child. A mere shadow of a girl,
starved to skin and bones, eyes sunken in from fear of falling asleep. Even her
dreams offered no escape to the terror that was her life. Looked at with utter
disgust and hatred by her father and beaten ever since she could crawl. To him,
she was the reason his wife had died.
A wave of sobs wracked
Isabel’s body as her father viciously pulled her out from behind Diane.
“You really thought you could hide from me did
you, you little fuck?” he growled. He took her by the hair and dragged her out
of the closet. Diane rushed forward and pummeled her father ineffectively with
her little fists. “Leave her alone!” she screamed and her father gave her a
brutal kick to the side. Her head connected with the wall and she sank to the
floor unconscious.
He stumbled out
into the hallway with Isabel still in tow, her sharp yelps of pain muffled by
tears. She knew what was coming and her body convulsed involuntarily. She fell
to the floor but this didn’t make her father stop. He just continued to drag
her across the hard cold floor. All the way down the wooden splintered
staircase. All the way to the kitchen. As he moved he removed his belt; his
favorite weapon.
“You really
thought you could hide from me did you?” he muttered breathily. He lifted her
to her feet, then shoved her back onto the floor and stood over her with a wild
look in his eyes. He slowly twisted the belt in his hand enjoying the fear it
brought to the eyes of the helpless girl at his feet. Then with a cruel lift of
his arm he brought the belt, buckle side, crashing to the girl’s side. She
cried out but the pain was so intense that no sound came out. Her vision
blurred and she went blind for a few seconds. She turned onto her stomach as
she felt herself convulse and throw up her meager supper. She braced herself
for the second blow fighting the urge to cover her head because previous
experience had taught her that this would only make her father hit her more for
doing so. He lifted his arm again and this time brought the belt down so hard
that he himself fell backwards into the kitchen counter, bringing a rain of
pots and pans onto the floor. Barely missing her head, a large pan fell in
front of her as if goading her to take it in her hands. She looked back at her
father and felt a wave of hatred wash over her as she watched him struggle to
his feet. Without thinking twice, she grabbed the pan, stood shakily to her
feet and swung the pan at his head with
all the strength an abused nine year old could muster. The pan connected to his
head with a loud crack and for a second he stared down at her in shock. Isabel
gave a frightened step backwards when he started to fall towards her. In her
fear she thought he was lunging towards her and she screamed. But her hit
combined with the liquor was enough to knock him out. For a few minutes she
stared down at his limp body and she shivered as she remembered a time when he
had beat her up and then locked her in the closet for days until she felt she
was going to die. He was surely going to finish her when he woke up. It was not
the fear of death that made her do what she did next. In fact she welcomed
death. It was the fear of being locked up again. In the dark with no food or
water, just her sisters voice outside the door keeping her alive. It was the
thought of going through that, that made her turn and run. Out the front door
and into the night, as far away from her father as she could.
To Be Continued...
By Wilhelmine Wachter
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